A Looking Glass, Darkly
by damienriddle
Summary: AU. What if it really was Raito's subconscious that was killing people and Raito himself doesn't know it?
1. Chapter 1

**A Looking Glass, Darkly**

Summary : AU. What if it really was Raito's subconscious that was killing people and Raito himself doesn't know it?

Disclaimer : Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba.

**Chapter One**

He called himself Kira, and he lived deep within Raito's psyche. Raito didn't know he exist, and Kira made no move to show himself to Raito. No need for two insane psychopaths to run around. One was more than enough, thank you very much. Two Kira's would only spell doom to the world, so it was better Raito was ignorant. Perhaps it was the strain of Kira, of two vastly different personalities in him, because Raito changed.

Raito was innocently adorable, with a gentle alluring smile and doe-like eyes. He was charming and charismatic. He was a brilliant student and an obedient son. He was a loving brother, and a dutiful boyfriend. He was a perfect person. People loved him and couldn't get enough. And Raito could not see Ryuk, and Raito did not know anything about Death Note. Raito also had several weird habits. Habits that develop overnight.

A strange tendency to scribble names on notebooks. A sudden need to stock apples in his room. Prolonged time in the showers, washing off imaginary dirt. Falling asleep while doing his homework. Interest and pride in Kira's killing. Dislike of the Police force. Waking up strangely sated and satisfied. The habits went on. Raito was confused. Raito concluded he was growing up, nevermind he was already 17. He was probably suffering hormonal overload. It sounds lame to his mind, but that was his only answer.

When L challenged Kira to kill him live on TV, Raito felt a surge of anger. But there was no action from Kira, nothing. Raito watched. Lind L Tailor remains alive. Raito wonders why Kira does not kill L. He was surprised when he woke up the next morning and news was buzzing that Kira was in Japan, in some remote area of Japan Raito had never been to. Lind L Tailor died of a heart attack during a live feed that was exclusive to that remote area. All the live feed was exclusive only to one area, and they discovered Kira's possible location. Raito did not know why he felt irritated but happy. He felt L has misjudged something, but does not know what it was.

Kira laughed and laughed and laughed, surprised at the turnout of the slight delay. He wondered if L knew, would L be shocked, or if like Kira, would he find it funny? The delay was an honest mistake, but now it looked like Lady Luck smiled at Kira, and Fate sided with him. Raito being a possible suspect has been eliminated. Ryuk could not understand the irony. But Kira did, and Kira laughed. The first victory was to Kira, but the battle would be long and tedious. Kira enjoys a challenge. He would slowly break L, and he would enjoy the entire journey to Godhood.

Raito stayed in a good mood for quite some time. He didn't know why but he knows everyone likes it a lot when he was in a good mood. He flirted back when flirted with to the delight of waitresses. His sister says he is more open, he talks to her and not sulk in his room being suspicious and he should stay this way. She says she was afraid of Kira and for their father. Raito smiles, a gentle curving of the lips, and he gazes at her with his doe-like eyes, shy and gentle and full of brotherly love. She believes him when he says Kira wouldn't harm their father, that she shouldn't be afraid of Kira and if anything happens, he would bring Kira to justice. Raito wonders why he felt the promise was meant to be broken.

It was two months later that Raito felt like he was trailed. He doesn't understand why, but soon he will sit for a placement test at Toudai, and he does not like his privacy invaded. There was a feeling that he should do something, like find out the name of the person, but he did not act on it. He told his father in private he was afraid of stalkers, and that he was possibly being stalked. Somehow, tears fell when he spoke and his father believes him when he says the gaze made him feel dirty, violated and afraid. His father promised to investigate.

Kira was not happy. He lost a prey, which he suspects was FBI, and that L sent FBI to trail possible suspects. Now, with Yagami Souichirou knowing, he could not act. Kira could not remove that particular FBI member without Raito being a suspect, and Kira does not know the name of that FBI member. He allows Raito to believe it was a stalker, and he enforces this belief into Raito. The memory of the gazes imprints itself into Raito's mind, and made Raito more sensitive to hostile gazes on him. It couldn't help this time, but next time, Raito would be more aware he was being trailed.

When Raito went to deliver a change of clothing to his father, his father introduced him to a new officer, Raye Penber. It was then Raito felt the same gaze when the officer looked at him. The same feeling of being dirty and violated. Yagami Souichirou noticed Raito turning pale and scared. Raito's smile turn forced, and he flinches when the new officer extend a hand to Raito. Yagami Souichirou might be a workaholic and devout law enforcer, but he was a father, too. Raye Penber was arrested under possible sexual assault, and the FBI was discovered to be trailing possible suspects.

Suspects being children of law enforcers directly related to the Kira case, and Raito was the son of the Commanding Officer of Kira Case in Japan. He was a possible suspect, and he had the means and brilliance to pull it thorough. It seemed like they chased after a ghost, in that remote area, and even L was forced to admit to a tactical mistake on his part. Maybe, just maybe, that Kira decided not to kill immediately, that Kira had restrained himself, not provoked like L thought he would be? Raito was dismissed as delicate, over-sensitive, sheltered and imaginative. Such a frail child couldn't possibly be Kira. He may have the brilliance and means, but not the will, or the mindset. Or the tightly leashed control Kira had to have in order to succeed.

Again, it made Kira laughed. Raito was brilliant, but he was sheltered and delicate. And Kira made sure that it would stay the same. Raito was showing obvious weaknesses, but they were only dispelling suspicion, and Kira did not mind much. After all, the delicateness appeared when their psyche split, and the more Raito was different from Kira, the better. Less to link them together, and Raito was not acting. Even under torture he could not admit to being Kira, or have any knowledge of Kira's crimes, and Raito was the perfect cover for Kira. And Kira would need to rely heavily on Raito not to get caught.

A/N : Please Review. Thanks.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Looking Glass, Darkly**

Summary : AU. What if it really was Raito's subconscious that was killing people and Raito himself doesn't know it?

Disclaimer : Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba.

**Chapter Two**

When L proposed CCTV in the homes of all police investigator in Kira case with families, Yagami Souichirou was shocked and appalled. Haven't Raito proved he wasn't Kira yet? Why was L so suspicious of Raito, so obsessed over that fact? However, even Yagami Souichirou was forced to acknowledge that L knew best. He was willing to sacrifice his dignity, his home's security an privacy if only this last ditch attempt would clear his son, completely.

CCTV proved ineffective. All they discover was that Raito was quite a ladies man, and the number of girls following him home was more than the entire team ever dated in the span of three days. Nothing sexual happened. Not for the lack of girls trying, but Raito was simply inhumane with his control and sexual urges. The entire investigation team learned quite a lot on the tactics of seduction, of smiles that turned girls away without breaking their hearts (leaving false hope) and how to charm expensive gifts, mostly notebooks, from admirers. Bitter chocolates, expensive books and designer clothes were easily obtained with a mere softening of the eyes and the gentle curving of the mouth.

And in all this, Kira kept on killing, hidden under the pretense of examining the gifts, particularly notebooks and books where small scraps of death notes were hidden. Raito remain oblivious to the entire thing, just a bit confused why he felt the urge to go all-out seduction war with the girls he knew. He usually treated them with slight disdain, and could never find the time for them. At least his fan base seems to have increased, and the number of gifts was piling up. Sure, Raito had always wanted to obtain some of them, and his allowance wasn't enough to cover the cost. But he usually preferred a challenge, when he made risky investments to obtain enough fund to acquire his desires.

The CCTV was removed a week later, after the investigation finally decided that watching Yagami Raito's seduction tactics was pointless and that while his moves were manipulative, they were at a too small scale for a possible Kira suspect. He was wasting his charms on seducing cute naïve schoolgirls, and for simple things like a box of his favorite bitter chocolates or a new notebook. Even L was forced to admit nothing suspicious happened, and that Raito didn't act suspiciously in the span of that one week. Yagami Souichirou discovered a new side of his "innocent" son who was not above charming a girl or two for some trinkets he wanted. He vowed to increase Raito's allowance to cover the cost of those frivolities Raito favored.

When L decided to attend Toudai in order to investigate Raito, Raye Penber was among those who opposed the idea. Raito just could not possibly be Kira, and the sheer amount of excuses was overwhelming. L just smiled and said it was a gut feeling. Raito had an air about him, something rather suspicious that L wanted to investigate, and L was about 2 suspicious Raito was Kira. 2 was enough. Yagami Souichirou wondered why of all people it had to be his son, and if L had alternative motives other than investigations. L was very interested in watching Raito, and followed all Raito's move closely. The fear for his son's welfare was increasing everyday.

Roses made Raito look angelic. Some of the older graduating girls had given them to Raito upon him scoring prefect scores to enter Toudai. Cradling the bouquet of roses delicately, with the blood red petals and the alluring scent clinging to him, he made his speech. He looks very at home with the flowers, like romance personified, and the female went crazy. His companion, Hideki Ryuuga, seem faded into the background. Scruffy and unkempt, he didn't look like he belonged to Toudai. Raito noted all this, and offered to share the celebratory roses. Ryuuga was surprised, but accepted the bouquet with grace. A new friendship was formed.

You could say it was foolishness. Kira nearly wanted to write Raito's name down in the Death Note. If it didn't mean he would need to die with Raito, he would. How could that idiot befriend Hideki Ryuuga, befriend him so easily? Don't he ever had a self doubt? Ryuuga could be a police, or FBI, or working for L! Raito was an idiot, and that was final. Raito was too kind, too charismatic, and cared a bit too much. How could splitting psyche create such a monster like Raito? Kind, gentle, sweet, handsome, charismatic, resourceful, the list goes on. It was good, right? No it was not. Raito has no long term goal, no ambition and no distrust.

Kira was beyond frustrated. He could understand the concept that if you lie, lie convincingly. The best to lie convincing is to be able to lie to yourself, and make the lie reality? Raito did just that. Even Kira was impressed at Raito's ability to lie to himself. He had seen many actors and actresses, and Raito's memory banks were vast, but no other could lie so convincingly to himself. He even made his lie reality, reconstructed his personality and quirks and split his mindset, his way of thinking. Kira could not believe it was actually possible until it had happened and he was the conscious part of the psyche that remembers what Raito did. Even Kira has to say it was genius.

Befriending Ryuuga wasn't. It was a bad move. BAD, with capital letters. Ryuuga reeked of suspicions. Raito didn't seem to care at all, even with Kira flashing neon green signals to him. Billboard big signals with emergency wails. Fine, Kira would never do that. It was a figurative of speech, but, did Raito had to befriend Ryuuga? Sitting together in class? Playing tennis after school hours? Why can't Raito settle with a nice girl and ignore that scruffy unkempt tennis player. Sure Ryuuga could give Raito a run for his money in both academics and tennis, but do they have to be friends? And afternoon tea breaks after tennis matches? Kira wanted to tear his hair out with worry and frustration.

To Raito, having Ryuuga as a friend was good. He could communicate with Ryuuga, tossing ideas and concepts around that other students would have found hard and confusing. Even if Ryuuga was had horrible table manners, and bad eating disorder. Raito could tolerate that much for tennis matches and long hours of debate over tea. Raito refused to partake in the cakes that Ryuuga likes so much, and Ryuuga did not comment on Raito's obsessive cleanliness, his dislike for things that are sweet and his methods of getting work done. It really was a beautiful friendship, despite internal alarms ringing at every turn.

If Kira was murderous at the thought of their friendship, and Raito was accepting it without much thought, L was confused. He had thought coming personally to test Raito would be a good move. It turned out not. It was throwing all his data and statistics into leaps and plunges. Raito was, in L's opinion, a possible Kira. But not Kira. Raito was innocent, and L would vouch for him if needed to. He hoped not, because it would be like admitting his theory and suspicion on Raito was wrong. Raito was kind, smart and a good friend. L thought that Raito was possibly the most perfect human he had ever encountered. He listened when L talked about his theories, and he understood. He accepted L, his weird quirks and I-can't-tell-you-sorry excuses. And to L, his excuses are always lame and fake, but Raito never said anything, accepting it with a smile.

To L, Raito was his friend, his first friend ever. If Kira was ever to discover Yagami Raito was L's friend and a possible pawn in their power struggle, Raito would probably end up being manipulated by Kira. Or killed. Whichever he would prove to have more value in. Dead or essential in helping Kira against L. And if Kira came between them, Kira would rue the day he heard the name L. L would probably find him and bring Kira to justice through all means possible, even if he had to overturn Japan. He was holding back on some of the less desirable means. There was just some lines that shouldn't be crossed. But for L, the line was Raito, his utterly innocent friend.

Ryuk thought it was all funny. Humans were so amusing. He never thought that dropping a Death Note to Earth could provide this much entertainment. Kira was brilliant, a genius, but absolutely hopeless against Raito. Raito, who threw Kira's plans into jeopardy in one moment, or helped Kira in staying under L's radar next with whatever schemes he did. And if there was one variable Kira did not count on, it was himself. The other half of his psyche to date was his greatest threat and greatest ally. Helping him in a moment and hindering Kira next. Yes, it was truly entertaining. He couldn't wait for the next move.

A/N : Thanks to those who previously reviewed. Those who haven't, please Review. Thanks.


	3. Chapter 3

**A Looking Glass, Darkly**

Summary : AU. What if it really was Raito's subconscious that was killing people and Raito himself doesn't know it?

Disclaimer : Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba.

**Chapter Three**

It was ironic. Yagami Souichirou collapsed of a heart attack and was hospitalized. Kira would deny to high heavens and hell he did not do it. He kill, not make people collapse. He knew that Raito would be worried and upset, and it would only hinder his plans if their father died. Raito would grief, and might attempt self harm, or at least remove Kira from existence. That would be bad, for both Kira and Raito. They exist as one, and if either was removed, both would be gone. Kira had hoped it would never happen, he did hate to test that theory if one could live without the other.

Raito was, predictably upset. He took to drinking about a can of coffee every five minutes. It had become habit, too, now he thought of it. Constantly buying coffee everyday for the caffeine jolt. Why? He slept early, going to bed at about 10 at night. Yet, he woke up fatigued and in need of coffee. As if he spend yet another sleepless night. For the past weeks, no matter how early he slept, he couldn't barely wake, and even when he woke up, he was tired. It was strange. It couldn't be the tennis matches, because Raito calculated enough time for his body to rest. Yet he always dozed off, to his horror, sometimes in the middle of a lecture. He concluded it must be another growing up thing.

L had taken to watch Raito. For the first 30 minutes, he had paced, and every five, he would stop and buy a can of coffee. Which he emptied in the span of 35 seconds. Precisely. The can was discarded and Raito would resume pacing. The next 30 minutes was Raito alternately glaring out the window or at L, leaning against the wall. Every five minutes he would walk to the machine dispenser and buy a can of coffee. Another 35 seconds to consume the drink. Discard. Walk back to the wall and lean there. Continue glaring. L thought it was amusing.

Raito was on his thirteenth can of coffee when the door to his father's medical bay opened. The doctor walked out, and nearly backed away at the identical piercing glare directed at him. Before either the two young man spoke, one rather amused and the other too tensed, he quickly explained the patient's condition. Yagami Souichirou just had a minor heart attack, he was fine, and it took that long because they needed a full check-up in case of possible future attack, and then there was the possibility of Kira, since the patient was a police officer. Fine, he was babbling, so? The glares were scary, reducing a ten-year experienced doctor to feeling like a child caught with his hand in a cookie jar. And he didn't even do anything wrong!

Raito brushed past him, dismissing the doctor's presence. Coffee was making him act strange. He had a shorter temper, and he was feeling murderous. His father was hurt! Heart attack, possibly Kira's act. There was this need, this ache to write someone's name down, anyone would do, criminal or not, to relieve the tension. Again, writing someone's name as a stress reliever was a weird quirk. Raito swept the stray thoughts into a mental cabinet and locked it. Later, he would look at it. Now, he had his father to tend to. And the fact why Ryuuga was also notified that his father collapsed.

Souichirou wanted to hide in embarrassment. Collapsing due to fatigue? Causing undue panic to his family, and to L. He would have to endure the forthcoming lecture from his wife on taking care of his health, and Raito's forlorn gaze and sad frown. The sad frown and forlorn look was entirely imaginary. Reality replaced it with a worried and slightly confused look. Raito looked from his father to his friend, Ryuuga, put two and two together, and did not come up with a happy conclusion. The doubts he had came back, and he knew. The upset and betrayed glare he threw at his father with was painful for Souichirou to accept. The look of comprehension on Raito's face, Souichirou knew that Raito knew his privacy had been invaded. And his own father had betrayed him. He knew how much Raito values his privacy. The case with Raye Penber had told him so. It was unforgivable.

Raito had suspected something was wrong. He wasn't a moron, and he knew, for a period of time he was monitored. It was a feeling, but he did not act on the need to verify if their family was really being closely monitored, trusting his father. Except, he saw his father's guilty looks, the extra allowance and Ryuuga's knowledge of his habits, even his sleeping and bathing manners, and add them all together. Once, Ryuuga had offered Raito a brand new cherry-scented soap when he forgot, the brand he always used. Raito had jokingly asked if Ryuuga stalked him since Ryuuga never used those. Ryuuga smiled and shook his head. There really was no need to stalk if you can just view it through a monitor.

Raito wanted to scream. Or cry, whichever most effective. He choose to walk out, slamming the door and then breaking into a full run. He held back his tears. Of all person, he had never thought his father would betray him, allow his privacy invaded like that. To Raito, his father's act wasn't any different in watching someone rape his son. Without doing anything but watch. Knowing all his privacy was invaded, his every single action monitored made Raito felt as if he was stripped naked. The strange sensation of dirty, violated and afraid came back. He could no longer hold back his sobs, just falling on the ground and let tears fall from his eyes.

If Raito was sad because of the betrayal, Kira was enraged. He had knew they were monitored, by L and by their father. He had not inform Raito because he knew it would end up like this. In tears. Kira was sad too, he could not prevent the sorrow Raito felt anymore than he can fly, which he can't. But he shared equal fault, since he knew of this. He had wanted to spare Raito, spare that innocent psyche of his. It was such a pity that Raito's profiling ability rival Kira's and L's. That Raito had choose to see this truth. Raito could have continued lying to himself. Could have, but did not. Kira could only hope it would not break Raito. Raito, missing half his psyche, was already fragile enough.

When it rains, it pours. Kira had never so wanted to murder innocent bystanders. Not really that innocent, but it was true he wanted to completely annihilate Sakura TV. He wanted to curse whoever the second Kira was. This was just not the time for a second Kira to appear, even if they approved of his actions. He was having an identity crisis and mental breakdown. Raito's psyche was splintering, becoming unstable. Raito refused to accept the betrayal. It was taking all of Kira's strength to hold onto Raito's psyche, until he calms down and stabilized. He did not have time nor strength to spare for the second Kira.

A/N : Thanks to those who previously reviewed. Those who haven't, please Review. Thanks.


	4. Chapter 4

**A Looking Glass, Darkly**

Summary : AU. What if it really was Raito's subconscious that was killing people and Raito himself doesn't know it?

Disclaimer : Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba.

**Chapter Four**

Kira should be happy the second Kira supported him. He should be glad and planning how to meet up with this person. This person was his ally after all. But the timing was horrible and the actions, Kira wanted to cry at the sloppiness. The Kira image he had hoped to promote just went down the drain. But it made him realize the fact that Ryuk failed to mention anything about the deal about the eyes of a Shinigami. Ryuk had sulked for hours when Kira refused him apples in punishment. Later, when the apple craving had gotten too much, with Kira munching tauntingly on those delicious morsels in front of him, he had agreed on a 1/3 portion of Kira's life in exchange for the eyes. Raito had stabilized after Kira received the eyes. Raito had calmed down, but by no means forgiving.

And he choose the most childish manner to show his displeasure. Raito refused to go to college, locking himself in his room to sulk, ignore all calls from both their father and Ryuuga and glared venomously at their father each time when their father came home for a quick bath and change of clothing. Souichirou was not angry. When his wife asked why Raito was acting like a child denied his favorite toy, he had answered that the long-awaited acts of teenage rebellion finally arrived. Kira did not know if he should laugh or cry. He settled for frowning angrily at anything his eyes rested upon, and writing even more names in his notebook to relieve tension. The deal on the eyes help a lot.

Raito knew he was acting childish. But it was justified, he reasoned. Not to mention, there was a feeling of dread and confusion whenever he stepped out. He could see hazy images of names and numbers. The first day he was so frightened he locked himself up again. Claiming to see hallucinations wasn't a thing a sane person would do. The fourth day he emerged from his self-imposed isolation, the hallucinations had disappeared and he had discovered his father had risked his life to retrieve the Kira tapes. The feeling of knowing someone's names were there, but what you can't see, you can ignore. It was just a feeling, like when someone introduced himself and you knew he lied. He just wasn't who he said he was.

When his father called again, and this time, the call wasn't immediately cut off. Raito had listened when he apologized, and requested Raito to meet him. He and Ryuuga both needed Raito's help now that the police refused to cooperate with Kira. Raito agreed. He wanted to know what happened in the four days he isolated himself to 'clear his mind'. He didn't like waking up one day and being told that his father might have died, thinking Raito hated him. Raito did not hate his father. Angry, confused and betrayed, yes. Hate, no. It would be wrong to hate his own father.

The first thing Ryuuga had did was pull him aside and apologized. He knew his method was a bit drastic and extreme, but it was necessary. In apology, Ryuuga offered a box of his favorite bitter chocolate. Raito recalled his father putting a similar box outside his door. It almost made him laugh. Did both his father and Ryuuga thought that Raito was that easily satisfied? Using chocolates as an apology? Still, he had to admit he was impressed. It would not have been easy for either of them to walk into a confectionary store and buy the rose-shaped dark chocolates.

Raito wondered if they have to specifically buy it or did the sales clerk took pity upon hearing whatever story they feed her and included it? The small toy puppy that was attached to the ribbons and cradling tiny roses and a note saying "I am sorry" was cute. It looked lovely, but was way too feminine, not his style at all. But still he had to applaud their effort. He wondered which one of them came up with that idea? Raito had never seen his father give his mother chocolates in apology. And Ryuuga did not look the kind that will give chocolates, ever.

Apologies aside, Ryuuga was quick to assimilate Raito into their fold. Raito became Asashi Raito, and Ryuuga became Ryuuzaki. Again, it was a lie. Ryuuzaki was not Ryuuga's real name. Another hunch. He wondered why Ryuuzaki lied even now, but decided it was probably fear of being killed by Kira. Speaking of Kira, watching the Kira tapes made Raito nauseous and Raito had a feeling he wasn't he only one. He was beginning to hate this Kira. The real Kira would never act like that. Never. Raito was very very sure. The real Kira will be angry. Raito did not want to think about the mess that will occur if Kira went into a killing rampage.

The last 4 days, the killings had almost increased by 215. Raito would have said Kira was having a killing rampage, but he knew, somehow, if Kira was actually in a rampage, there would be much much more death than that. And that the increased killing was probably Kira having found an alternative means of getting someone's name. There wasn't a need for either Kira to see their victim's name to kill, only their face. It was eerie. Like the coming of the second Kira boost the first Kira's power, giving him the ability to know their name. Raito was briefly reminded of hazy names and dates, but dismissed it. It was a coincidence. It must be.

Turning to Ryuuzaki, he explained the concept of a second Kira, and the possibility of the first also getting the same ability as the second. Perhaps it was like a share learning system, one gains a new ability, and the other gains it too? Ryuuzaki had smiled, victoriously, and informed that he already made the same conclusion and Raito had just supported his theory. There was a second Kira, and thanks to this new threat, the first somehow gained the same ability to kill without knowing someone's names. Or, he theorized, the first had the ability from the start, but choose to reveal one weak point, that being the need of knowing someone's name to kill. Now, there was another player, he decided to make raise the stakes.

Raito knew it wasn't true, it was the first theory, not the second, but kept quiet. Somehow, he knew there was no need for Ryuuzaki to know that and let everyone assume Kira was craftier than ever. Kira was, in Raito's opinion, the simplest person to understand. He did everything he thought was right, through whatever means possible, and would never do something like hide an ability like that. He would never want any weakness exposed, and he wanted to be perfect, flawless. Being able to kill without knowing names would only help strengthen the image of god-like, and Kira would never hide that ability just to confuse his opponents.

Kira agreed. With the breaking of his psyche and subsequent collapse, and Ryuk obsession over apples, the topic of the Shinigami's eyes never came up. Kira was busy stabilizing himself and reassessing the new psyche, and Ryuk was too busy proclaiming his love for apples. The only agreement they had was that Ryuk would never attempt to communicate with Raito, and in exchange, Kira would make sure Raito leave apples laying around whenever possible. It was a surprise when Ryuk realized that Raito could not see or hear him, even when he was holding the Death Note. It was certainly an unique case, but an amusingly interesting one.

Ryuuzaki had wanted Raito to act as Kira. To come up with a message for the second Kira from the first. Kira wondered if he could just killed Ryuuga and be done with it? He knew he can't act now, even if he knew Ryuuzaki's name. It was too risky, there was only the few of them, making the list of possible suspects too short for Raito not to elude suspicion. Kira would have to wait, and he did not relish the quick victory. He was going to drag it out, and Ryuuga would die when Kira wanted him to die. Die knowing Raito was Kira, die knowing he trusted Kira with his life. Of course the fact Raito actually liked Ryuuzaki isn't relevant here. And the fact that Raito would be upset and Kira wanting to avoid that is not true.

Writing the draft had to be the easiest thing Raito had done. Somehow, he knew what Kira wanted. He understood Kira's needs and desires, and to an extend, Kira's goals. How Kira did all that eluded him, but he knew it wasn't important. He just had to speak as Kira, and in a short while, become Kira. It was not as tedious as he first thought. For a moment, he could almost understand what Kira felt, what Kira wanted, and what was his goals. It was intoxicating. It was akin to bathing in power, knowing you could kill all the vermin that dirties this Earth, to cleanse it and bring a new era of peace.

And that moment was gone, but it was enough. Raito wanted to weep for Kira, for he found only jaded countenance and sorrow, and Raito knew Kira was young, too young to shoulder the burden of being God. He had killed too much of himself, that there was no turning back. Kira's hands were too stained with blood, and he knew, and he carried mankind's sins for them. He would take the stains of humanity, and take it with him to his grave. Death would be kind, a peaceful release for Kira. But not yet, when humanity can stand upright and just, then Kira could rest. Disappear forever. Knowing that he changed mankind, that the world was a much better place.

It was almost too much for Kira, for a brief moment, being one with Raito. It almost unravel his existence. It was hard, the feeling of being whole again, and he almost did not want to part with Raito. Like coming home after a long journey, he did not want to leave again. He missed being whole, but he knew he cannot allow Raito to be tainted by Kira. He wanted Raito able to stand on his two feet and look in the eyes of truth, and say, with clarity, he was innocent. It would be crucial for Raito to exist by himself, for Kira's future plans relies on this. It would be his riskiest move, but also his craftiest. He had to let Raito go, let Raito seek shelter from anyone but Kira and grow, blossoming into an existence of his own right.

Shock could not described what the entire investigation team felt when they first saw Raito attempt to emulate Kira. He wasn't just successful. He became Kira. Mindset, speech, style, everything. The cold calculating gaze, the omnipotence, the power that swirled around him, the mere presence of a human who called himself God. The languid sprawl on the chair, lazy scrawls as he penned his message, the half lidded eyes that was all-knowing, was exactly as they would have envisioned Kira. Each time he caught them stealing glances at him, there was a victorious smirk directed at them. It was discerning.

The second shock was when Ryuuzaki did not bat an eyelid at the transformation. When asked, he explained that some could immerse themselves into the roles they play, and become the same copy of the original. He did not attempt it because if he did understood Kira too much, he would probably sympathize with Kira. It would be bad since he was against Kira. His goal was to capture Kira and bring him to justice, and he would not attempt any method that would result in him sympathizing with Kira. Raito was too kind, too gentle. Even if he sympathize with Kira, he would never be Kira. He would never agree to Kira's method of reaching his goals. Even if Kira's ideal was admirable, Raito would never help someone who uses such means to reach it. To Raito, the end never justifies the means.

The third shock came when the second Kira replied. Something about he was glad Kira had the same eyes, and he would do anything to help Kira. The second Kira wanted the first Kira to come up with a way to meet. They would verify each other with their God of Death. Both Raito and Ryuuzaki were shocked. Ryuuzaki did not believe in the existence of God of Death, and Raito felt a chill down his spine. As if he forgot something very important. Both agreed that it is possible that God of Death is a code word for their ability. And the eyes for their ability to kill without knowing the names of their victims. The second Kira was only interested in knowing who the first Kira was, and this could be their advantage.

**Extra Info : **_Just for clarification. Raito and Kira's situation is unique only to them. Anyone else that possess the Death Note would not go through the same situation. This small deviation would be crucial only in later chapters._

A/N : Thanks to those who previously reviewed. Those who haven't, please Review. Thanks.


	5. Chapter 5

**A Looking Glass, Darkly**

Summary : AU. What if it really was Raito's subconscious that was killing people and Raito himself doesn't know it?

Disclaimer : Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba.

**Chapter Five**

Kira was torn between wanting to kill the Second Kira and meeting him/her. He could only conclude that the second Kira was bad news. Only an idiot would practically spill their secrets to the entire world. An international broadcast. And he probably was justified in killing the second Kira. He didn't need the Shinigami's Eyes anymore, having struck a similar deal with Ryuk, but it would be nice to meet and learn all he could about the "missing" information Ryuk neglected to tell him.

Thus, Kira was deliberating whether to send his own information to the newscast. On one hand, it would be risky for Raito, and on the other, if he didn't, he has no idea what the second Kira might do if he didn't reply. Hence, it took a combination of jan-ken-pon with himself, online chess and go, enough killing to put himself into a minimum of twenty life sentences and consommé flavoured chips before Kira decided that he should ignore the second Kira.

Raito woke up feeling like he had a midnight binge, which only occur when he had problems he couldn't solve immediately. Of course he couldn't have sleepwalked and helped himself to all the six packets of consommé flavoured chips. No, Raito do not sleepwalk and that was the end of it. There had to be another explaination. Growing hormones, perhaps?

Misa, on the other hand, was very anxious to meet Kira. He killed her parents murderer, and in her eyes, he was a good guy. Besides, she was confident he would not hurt her, she was supporting his ideals, after all. Not to mention, she knew how to kill a Death God, however impractical and weird the method is. She wanted to meet Kira, and help him create an ideal world. She was sure he would appreciate her! Thus that was why she begun to search for her stockpile of badly dubbed videos.

When the investigation team received the note the second Kira send, it seems amusing to them. It was a hint, possibly leading to the capture of Kira. L wasn't naïve enough to believe that they could catch Kira so easily, but the second Kira seems idiotic and naïve and capturing him should allow them to figure out how Kira killed so effectively, quickly and mysteriously. L knew that Kira was not stupid enough to fall for any tricks they planned, so they would need the second Kira as bait. Now, if only they could capture the second Kira, they could easily find the original Kira.

L wasn't very happy when Raito volunteered to scout out both Aoyama and Tokyo Dome. Neither was Kira. Both (one visibly and one invisibly) protested long and loud over Raito's poor decision. They threw in logical arguments and even some illogical arguments. Sadly, it was all in vain. Raito wanted to help and once he made up his mind, he was stubborn. Very much so. He had a feeling that he would be the prefect bait in both Aoyama and Tokyo Dome.

Why, Raito couldn't say. Call it a hunch. Surprising, the one who supported his decision was his father. Raito did not know whether to rejoice or be sad his father was willing to let his son go. But he wasn't planning to let his father know that he was probably going to be a sacrifice, a bait, to catch Kira. After all, with both Kira and the second Kira with the ability to kill with only a face, he and whoever officer that accompanied him, the risk of dying is high. Far higher than before.

Raito wasn't about to let L or his father knew he was planning to impersonate Kira. And find out who the second Kira is. That was his highest gamble with the highest stakes at hand. For once, all his acting skills would be put into use. The second Kira had never met the first Kira, and had no idea what he would look like. Hence, Raito was going to try bluffing his way if he met any of the two Kira.

Kira was torn between screaming, crying and laughing. Screaming in frustration because Raito was being stubborn and illogical, crying because he and L actually agreed on something, which was a first for both of them, not that L knew, and laughing because now he had a solid excuse to be in both Aoyama and Tokyo Dome. Kira was extremely curious to knew how Raito would planned to bluff his way around the second Kira. He might just succeed or fail.

Even if Raito failed, Kira was a failsafe, a backup, and he would kill the second Kira before Raito could be killed, cover be damned. If things actually degraded to worst case scenario, Kira would just kill everyone on the scene, and take Raito far away. He did make sure Raito had a backup fund for plastic surgery and air ticket fare to anywhere in the world, just in case. There was no way he did let Raito die just yet, he wasn't suicidal. Kira had all angles covered. Aoyama expedition should be safe. But it never hurt to be prepared.

Raito went alone. Normally Kira would throw a fit, silently and unseen, but this time, Kira sat back to watch. After all, it's not everyone you see the spectacle of someone trying to impersonate themselves. Kira knew Raito was being tailed, and Raito knew it too. Both choose not to act on it. It was, for a lack of word, nice and pleasant to have some backup. As long as Raito didn't get killed by the second Kira, or kill anyone, the law was on his side.

Raito didn't know of Kira's backup plan that involves him, plastic surgery and a plane ticket far away from Japan. Raito also did not know that Kira brought along his passport along on this trip, and emergency funding was a few digits away in an Automatic Teller Machine. It was time Yagami Souichirou was good for something, after all, even if it is emergency funding. Of course Raito had an emergency funding stash, but Kira thought that Yagami Souichirou should do something for his son. Hopefully the plan would never came to be.

Perhaps the Gods was on Raito's side that day, because after two hours of fruitless searching, Raito decided to take a break…at Note Blue. Out of idea where he could find the second Kira, or the first, his feet lead him to the very café Misa was waiting. Of course Raito didn't know it was Misa and neither did Kira since Kira was not the dominant psyche, but for Misa, seeing Raito was a dream come true. No, it wasn't because she couldn't see his life expectancy, she could, but he just drew her in.

For Misa, she was meeting her Prince Charming. She was drew to him, even if she wasn't sure he was Kira or not. His life expectancy kept changing. The numbers were never constant, and it baffled Misa. Almost as if the Gods themselves did not know when Yagami Raito would die, hence the constant changing life expectancy. Sometimes, it even disappeared totally, for a short moment, and then it was back, and changing again. It was……a very curious affair that Misa had all intention of finding out. Perhaps Kira would be interested in this individual.

**A/N :** _Sorry for the long delay. All my data was deleted because of a computer crash, and I was caught up in my studies. I should have more free time now so updates would be more regular. The life expectancy is only unique to Yagami Raito and the story plot. Please Review. Thanks._


	6. Chapter 6

**A Looking Glass, Darkly**

Summary : AU. What if it really was Raito's subconscious that was killing people and Raito himself doesn't know it?

Disclaimer : Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba.

**Chapter Six**

Yagami Raito never thought of how he could identify the second Kira, or the first. But he knew it wasn't time for him to meet the first, so he wasn't worried on meeting the first Kira. The smart Kira. The God with the ideal of changing the world. Raito wasn't going to meet him yet. If possible Raito never wanted to meet the first Kira. He was going to meet his shadow, one that shared the glorious power of Kira.

For Kira, just a second was enough. A second snatched away from Raito to scout out Note Blue, for the sake of his and Raito's safety, of course, just as he had done every few minutes. No need for Raito to meet the second Kira and walk away with ignorance. Hence, the second was more than enough for Kira to identify the second Kira. He wasn't that surprised it was a girl, but he was surprised she seems very interested in Raito. Could it be that she could identify Raito as Kira?

Kira memorized her name, Amane Misa, and resolved to check out this person. A detailed life history and tendencies. Perhaps she would be of use to him, she is already interested in Raito, and Kira did not believe that it was because Raito was Kira. No, he was confident that she was merely interested with a pretty face. Females were weak against that pretty face Raito was born with, and it never hurt to check out if he could manipulate Amane Misa using Raito.

Misa left the Note Blue disappointed she couldn't find Kira, but happy she meet an interesting guy. With a changing life expectancy no less. She wondered if any of her action angered Kira, and he decided it was best they did not meet. Kira was her knight, and she had hoped her actions would please him. Yet he did not turn up, or if he did, he did not come forward to meet her. Surely Kira knew she was another Death Note user? After all, she had no life expectancy that can be seen.

Perhaps Misa should not have worried, because the first thing Kira did upon arrival home was to browse for information about Amane Misa. To his horror, she was a celebrity in teen and fashion magazines, and her parents killer were eliminated by him. Easy to manipulate, but an obvious Kira supporter. If Raito started appearing by her side, or seemed close to her, suspicion on Raito would start all over again. Kira did not think Raito could possible endure it again, he would probably snap and kill L or anyone in his vicinity, including their father. Kira would need to plan very carefully.

It took an entire day to arrange a mobile number that could not be traced to the possession of Yagami Raito, requiring quite a few corpses to act as runners. He had to use minor offenders, one to obtain a new mobile, drop it after an accident, and die, another to pick it up and have it moved quite some distance, drop it and die moments later, and later, another to pick it up. After a few pick me up and transfer me, the mobile was safely transferred to Kira, when the last runner dropped it onto a bench and walk into a collision. The other runners did not survive, but there was a variety of way they died and the time that it would be extremely hard to link them together.

Kira was good at planning, after all. The mobile number was registered to a dead guy, and it was identical to the one Yagami Raito owned. No one would be able to ascertain the differences, not after Kira was done with it. Kira was going to use this precious mobile to see that the second Kira was controlled, or he wouldn't waste hours of his time planning for an identical mobile to reach his hands, with no way of tracing it back to Raito. If anything, as long as both mobile are not placed next to each other, no one knew of the existence of a copy, as dead does not tattle.

Misa was surprised when she received a phone call while watching the news, and the caller identified himself as Kira. The voice was cold and chilling, as he recite facts of her life to her, as well as how Kira killed her parents murderer. He also predicted the death of a few prisoners and within moments, she was able to ascertain he spoke the truth. She was speaking with the genuine Kira! He knew of her existence, knew of her life, and how much she was willing to sacrifice to help him.

She took the opportunity to speak to him, to assure him of her worth, and in her mindless babble, she told him about Yagami Raito and the changing life expectancy and how to kill a death god. She wanted the conversation to last forever, and in her haste, she blurted everything she hoped was of worth to him, including her desire to meet him. As she half-expected, Kira refused. It would be better they do not meet yet, and he left a few standing orders, as well as forbidding her to trace the number.

Misa was not disappointed that Kira refused to meet her, after all, it was for his own safety and hers. Being able to converse with him was good enough in her case, at least, for time being. She had no intention for it to be a long term situation, but for now, she was content to be able to help Kira and hear his voice. With almost no standing order accept not to trace the mobile number, she had nothing to do. Sure, go on with life and help kill murderers, but it wasn't interesting. Perhaps she should pay Yagami Raito a visit?

Raito himself was disappointed that he did not meet the second Kira. But he did try to find him, and failed. Well, at least Ryuuga would be pleased. He hadn't been happy when Raito wanted to be at Aoyama. There was one thing suspecting a friend of being Kira and being proved wrong, another to allow a friend to walk into a dangerous situation as a possible bait. Raito would not be visiting Tokyo Dome. He already knew first hand how hard was it to try and find someone you know nothing about. The other investigators would have to be at the scene.

Kira was pleased when Raito decided against going to Tokyo Dome. No need to waste any effort now that he knew who the second Kira is, and place himself in possible danger. Raito's life was precious after all, although finding out that Raito had a changing life expectancy was a shock. He would need to research deeper in it, as even Ryuk had absolutely no idea why this had happened. It just hadn't happen before, even in the entire long history of God of Deaths. Kira didn't know if he should be pleased or worried to be such an unique individual.

A/N : Yes, Kira turned the tables on Misa. He is the one she knows nothing about, and I seriously don't think he wants her to know. Please Review. Thanks.


	7. Chapter 7

**A Looking Glass, Darkly**

Summary : AU. What if it really was Raito's subconscious that was killing people and Raito himself doesn't know it?

Disclaimer : Death Note belongs to Tsugumi Ohba.

**Chapter Seven**

Perhaps fate decided to throw a winch into Kira's plan, because there was broadcasting that day at Aoyama. It wasn't surprising since the second Kira did mention the location Aoyama in the diary that was broadcasted. But what was surprising was that Raito was caught in the news - in photography competition that was launched a short while later.

One of the world's leading photographers had been at Aoyama on that day, and by mistake, he took a shot of Raito. Upon developing the film, he had been shocked but that certainly did not stop him from using the accidental shot as his competition entry. In the competition, it was the most applauded photograph, and without a doubt, won the best photograph award of the competition.

Naturally, photographs of the competition and the winning photograph ended up on the newspaper tabloid. It was a shock for Kira to wake up and read the news - and see Raito in the news, which had the reporters twittering at the possible new upshot model. A masterpiece photograph with an unknown model, yet able to win the competition with only one entry when every other photographer submitted a minimum of half a dozen?

Kira was in a killing rage. Especially since the front door of his house was swarmed with reporters. Somehow, they found out about Raito's name and address. Neither was L very happy with the twist of event. Despite wanting to protect his friend, Raito's photograph and name end up in the newspaper.

The photograph captured was good, which ended up as the main problem. It was too good. Raito has the looks to pull modeling off and successfully to boot. With long, sweeping lashes, a visage that managed to look innocently seductive, completely oblivious to the camera that snapped the shot, hands delicately holding a cup of coffee, he looked like he stepped out of a dream picture.

Ironically, the photographer had taken the photograph in Note Blue. It had Raito being nervous, Kira angry and L being upset. Fate was laughing very hard, and so was Ryuk. It was a completely unexpected twist of event. Being alone at Aoyama had ended up attracting attention instead of being inconspicuous.

None of Raito's tails noticed that there was a photographer in that area, and he managed to capture a photo of Raito, however accidentally. L chewed them out pretty nastily too, in language that wasn't fit to be reproduced, but to sum it all, L was upset that photographers apparently did a better job in sneaking/stalking someone than his police tails did. Talk about a blow to the pride.

Let's just say with Raito's photograph splashed on the tabloids, the phone never stopped ringing. Modeling agency practically begged for Yagami Raito to work with them, offering everything Raito wanted or needed and everything else he didn't. Various well know companies sent over representatives for modeling contracts, and so did photographers who wanted an exclusive model.

It just wasn't a fun day for Raito, as he took one look at the reporters, fled to his room and barricade himself in. There was no way he was stepping out now, not with the swarm of reporters at his doorstep, and the modeling agencies, and photographers. If he had gone to college, he would probably still be followed, so hiding in his room, armed with a notebook and a well-inked pen was his best defense.

Or rather, it was Kira's best defense. Since things has degenerate to such a stage, Kira might as well make use of his free time and do something useful, like killing criminals in boatloads, by the hundreds. Both Ryuuga and his father called, but Raito had assured them he was fine, just hiding in his room for time being and no, he did not need to be placed under protective custody. That was plainly over-reacting.

Just because Raito was at Aoyama, and both his face and name is now revealed to public, it didn't mean that Kira would target him. The media would drop the news in a few days. Sadly for Raito, the news did not blow over after a few days. Instead, some reporters found his more of his old photographs and information.

They painted a new story. The firstborn son of the police chief investigations, ranked first in the nation, good looks and single. The scouts changed their tune too. Instead of begging Raito to work for them, they begged him to model for a charity show. He would need to model just once, for the sake of the orphans. All proceeds would go to various orphanages.

It wasn't a deal anyone could turn down, least of all, a student of Raito's caliber. To turn it down was to commit political and social suicide. They rationalize that after Raito modeled once, he would agree to do it again. They would have a better chance of signing a contract with him. It would be instant fame for Raito, and only a fool would turn it down.

The sudden turn had Kira amused and upset. He was not planning a career in modeling, but even he knew that Raito had to attend this charity modeling show. With Japan waiting with baited breath, turning it down was impossible. At least it was just once. That, and he could no longer stand his sister, Sayu's begging and wheedling for him to model.

It was just once. Both Kira and Raito would endure it. It was a one night show, with various companies offered their best apparel product to be auctioned off. Each model was assigned a partner for the charity show. For Raito, it was an experienced female model. When Kira saw her, he simply wanted to curse out the heavens and gods.

His partner was Amane Misa.

**A/N :** Why was Japan suddenly so interested with Yagami Raito? Simple. The shot which became a masterpiece was taken accidentally, and it was a one of a kind photograph. The photographer did not even know until he develops his film. Then he enters it for the competition. And it won. A single photograph entry managed to win a competition when everyone else submitted 6 or more? Not to mention, the model was unknown and not choosen by the photographer.


End file.
